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Sunday, March 8, 2009

123: Squirrels


Here in Britain we have a little problem with our squirrels.

See we have these beautiful red coated natives
But the last 50 years these foreigners have come about
They're not red but grey and pale
And at the risk of sounding like the Daily Mail
We wanna get those foreign bastards out!

Now I don't wanna be un - PC
So I'll call them chromatically challenged.

But basically they're hardened squirrel thugs
They eat all the squirrel food, carry knives and do squirrel drugs.
They terrorise our little reds,
they won't be happy till they're all dead
So let's start turning the grey ones into rugs.

Now I know what you're thinking, does anybody really care?
It's not like we're talking about whales, lions or polar bears
Plus animals go extinct all the time
And just cos this one is in decline
What makes it more worth saving than all the other ones out there?

Well I'll tell you why, it's size:

An inch is the threshold for our protection
Anything smaller isn't worth affection,
Anything bigger is big enough to be saved.

Wasps can die out, no great loss,
Mosquitos, don't give a toss
But we're talking about mammal... With four limbs... And forward facing eyes... It could almost be a tiny little human!
And that's just cute.

Whether you think the greys should be killed to make way
Or if you believe that nature's decided the reds have had their day
One thing that is beyond a doubt
I just wrote what I was told to write about
I don't give a shit either way.

Chords used, if I remember right, are just E A and B

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